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-Chuck Norris doesn't need to fly. When he wants to go somewhere, he's just there.
-Chuck Norris doesn't travel to places. Places travel to Chuck Norris.
-The Boogie Man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
-Clowns are afraid of Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris can't leap over a building in a single bound. Buildings bow down to him so all he has to do is walk over them.
-Locomotive power is measured in Chuck Norrises.
-Chuck Norris doesn't run faster than the speed of light. Light slows down and lets him pass.
-Chuck Norris caused the dinosaurs to go extinct. One bit him, and he punched it so hard they all died.
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