[sprogs]

it was back in the 1700's when piracy was rife and press gangs were everywhere.
Into the smoking room of the "Rat and Gopher" tavern came a young man, perhaps a little over press gang age, perhaps not.
By the side of the bar sat an old "Sea Dog",
eyepatch, wooden leg hook and all.
"shall engage him in thought the young man.
"Good day old sea dog" he offered as an intro, "How fare you this fine seafaring day ?"
"I be dry as I can be and still speak without the ease of fine drink" He replied.
"Good Innkeeper, please bring us both a large tankard of your best at my expense" shouted the youngster, "And a cool libation for all who are with us this day."
At this he was everyone's friend.
So !
He turned to the old seadog and said, "I see by your trousers that you are one short in the leg department, pray how came this about ?"
"Aaarghh, well " said his new friend, it was like this. We were a'sail on the Spanish coastal waters when from nowhere came upon us a Government galley, they boarded us and though I fought valiantly they hacked off my right leg", "The next day I had the wooden one fitted"
"Brave man, you must drink again at my expense"
"I also notice that you are deficient in the hand department"
"AAarggh well y'see sir, we was sailing off the carribbean coast when we were overtaken by a government galley, they boarded us and though I fought valiantly they took off my hand at the wrist, the next day I had the hook fitted."
"Courage beyond belief my good friend !, You and I must drink another toast to your bravery"
"May I ask once more good sir, I see that where most have two, you have only one eye"
"Mutter, mutter, mutter"
"I prithee sir, I did not quite catch your words"
"Mutter, mutter, mutter"
"Still sir, I cannot make out your words "
"All right matey, all right . If you must know a seagull shat in my eye".
"Really, but that is but an inconvenience, all one must do is wipe it from one's eye!"
"Aaaah well, normally so sir, but this was just the day after I'd had the hook fitted...........