Help a Trek friend...

[Uyraell]

A thorny topic, from the Ethics perspective.

Were it me observing a friend in dire straits, and perceiving a need, I'd be considering, then looking into how to achieve/do the following.

If it is within your means to provide in gentle, subtle fashion, that which your friend's circumstance requires then do so quietly and unobtrusively. Be that a box of groceries on his front door step, or arranging an appointment with a medical specialist; anything along those lines.

If the matter is beyond your means to effect/achieve/resolve; then again being quiet and unobtrusive, arrange with those necessary the support and or treatment and or remedy the situation or circumstance of your friend requires, and present it to him/her as a fait-accompli: all they have to do is turn up on time at the appointment/venue, if necessary with you accompanying them as support.

In either case, be prepared to accept without and atom of rancour that any effort you may have made could "blow up in your face" and result in strains within your friendship with this person: it's a fact of life that some folk, even though in dire need of it, do not easily nor willingly accept help form sources beyond themselves, and may in some cases strenuously resist it.

Above all else, be and remain subtle, discrete and Caring: those qualities will do much to ease your friend one way and another, and will even minimise risks of strains within your friendship, even if your friend is unable or unwilling to accept the assistance offered/arranged by you.

I can proffer no better advice than I have here, it being the described situation/circumstance is very generalised and it being axiomatic that beyond the broadest of outlines it will not be a case of "one size fits all" where it comes to a suitable solution and outcome. However, I do hope what I've offered here by way of advice is helpful and I send up a prayer that your friend's circumstance/situation soon resolves in a satisfactory and positive manner.

Kind and Respectful Regards Neptune My Friend, Uyraell.

[Neptune]

Reading your comments and those of DC's, I think you are both right. Some times the best of intentions can cause unforseen consequences. So, if I'm able to do anything at all it will have to be simple and effective and anon.

Thank for your concerted input.

Originally Posted by Uyraell

A thorny topic, from the Ethics perspective.

Were it me observing a friend in dire straits, and perceiving a need, I'd be considering, then looking into how to achieve/do the following.

If it is within your means to provide in gentle, subtle fashion, that which your friend's circumstance requires then do so quietly and unobtrusively. Be that a box of groceries on his front door step, or arranging an appointment with a medical specialist; anything along those lines.

If the matter is beyond your means to effect/achieve/resolve; then again being quiet and unobtrusive, arrange with those necessary the support and or treatment and or remedy the situation or circumstance of your friend requires, and present it to him/her as a fait-accompli: all they have to do is turn up on time at the appointment/venue, if necessary with you accompanying them as support.

In either case, be prepared to accept without and atom of rancour that any effort you may have made could "blow up in your face" and result in strains within your friendship with this person: it's a fact of life that some folk, even though in dire need of it, do not easily nor willingly accept help form sources beyond themselves, and may in some cases strenuously resist it.

Above all else, be and remain subtle, discrete and Caring: those qualities will do much to ease your friend one way and another, and will even minimise risks of strains within your friendship, even if your friend is unable or unwilling to accept the assistance offered/arranged by you.

I can proffer no better advice than I have here, it being the described situation/circumstance is very generalised and it being axiomatic that beyond the broadest of outlines it will not be a case of "one size fits all" where it comes to a suitable solution and outcome. However, I do hope what I've offered here by way of advice is helpful and I send up a prayer that your friend's circumstance/situation soon resolves in a satisfactory and positive manner.

Kind and Respectful Regards Neptune My Friend, Uyraell.

[Wad Cutter]

I too have a good and close friend almost a brother who is a real bad way. We use to talk for hors and did a couple of online sim once in a while together. His health is bad and he wants to be left alone. He doesn’t need money and there nothing that can be done for kim. He has MS in it’s final stages. I call him once in a while but only for a few minutes to just listen. I’m losing him and he’s a very proud Congressional metal holder. A winged worrier of the US Navy who saw action in the Gulf. Not a day goes by I don’t think of him. It’s hard no to want to do something for him if I could but that is not his wish. I will remember him and as long as I do, he will still live. He will be buried with full military honors and I will never know about it. That was also his wish. Not sure that helps but just to let you know your not alone when it comes to carrying this type of burden. wc.

[Neptune]

I suppose we all have our burdens to bare, but losng a friend, when it comes out of the blue like that.... It's kind of difficult to process.

Originally Posted by Wad Cutter

I too have a good and close friend almost a brother who is a real bad way. We use to talk for hors and did a couple of online sim once in a while together. His health is bad and he wants to be left alone. He doesn’t need money and there nothing that can be done for kim. He has MS in it’s final stages. I call him once in a while but only for a few minutes to just listen. I’m losing him and he’s a very proud Congressional metal holder. A winged worrier of the US Navy who saw action in the Gulf. Not a day goes by I don’t think of him. It’s hard no to want to do something for him if I could but that is not his wish. I will remember him and as long as I do, he will still live. He will be buried with full military honors and I will never know about it. That was also his wish. Not sure that helps but just to let you know your not alone when it comes to carrying this type of burden. wc.

[Wad Cutter]

It's because he is a friend and you wouldn't be his friend if you felt different. It's nature. All things have a begrudging and a end. You me, everything. Keep you memories close of him and he will live a long time.

[mbauer]

Sometimes it is the small little things that need done that you could do.

Once when I was down from a broken leg, a co-worker brought his snow blower over and cleared my driveway. I was getting ready to pay to have it done. I'll never forget that act of kindness.

Sometimes the best thing to do is just call to say hello, and listen like you've been doing.

It is good that you care enough to ask for ideas!

All the best to you and your friend!

Mike

[spaceagent-9]

neptune.
you are one of the most creative and intelligent person i have met in a long time.
you have shown it here many times.
do what you think is right and get it done.
if he complains then change your tactics to something that isnt controlled by someone's selfish or even insane whims, and do something practical to solve his problem.
and inform him that is what you are doing.
in the old days there would be no quandry about what to do.

[Neptune]

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and ideas, it's all been rather inspiring.