When you occasionally have a really bad day, And you just need to take it out on someone, Don't take it out on someone you know, Take it out on someone you don't know, But you know deserves it.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make.
I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying 'Hello..'
I politely said, 'This is Rick Could I please speak with Robyn?'
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right d**n number!'
And the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
When I tracked down Robyn's correct number To call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed The last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're a jerk!'
And hung up.
I wrote his number down With the word 'jerk' next to it,
And put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, When I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
I'd call him up and yell, 'You're a jerk!'
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'jerk'
Calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'
He yelled 'NO!' And slammed down the phone
I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're a jerk!'
And hung up.
One day I was at the store, Getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW Cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.
I hit the horn and yelled That I'd been waiting for that spot, But the idiot ignored me.
I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window, So I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, Right after calling the first jerk (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW jerk, too.
I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'
He said, 'Yes, it is.'
I then asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'
He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd. , in Fairfax. It's a yellow ranch style house And the car's parked right out in front.'
I asked, 'What's your name?'
He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'
He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'
I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'
He said, 'Yes?'
I said, 'Don, you're a jerk!'
Then I hung up, And added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two jerks to call.
Then I came up with an idea ...
I called Jerk #1. He Said, "Hello".
I said, 'You're a jerk!' (But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, 'Are you still there?'
I said, 'Yeah!'
He screamed, 'Stop calling me'
I said, 'Make me.'
He asked, 'Who are you?'
I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
I said, 'Jerk, I live at 34 oak tree Blvd., in Fairfax, A yellow ranch style home and I have a black Beamer parked in front.'
He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.'
I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, jerk,' And hung up.
Then I called Jerk #2.
He said, 'Hello?'
I said, 'Hello, jerk,'
He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'
I said, 'You'll what?'
He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your butt'
I answered, 'Well, jerk, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now.'
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I was on my way over to 34 oak tree Blvd, in Fairfax , to kill my lover.
Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down in oak tree Blvd in Fairfax .
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .
I got there just in time to watch two jerks beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really does work!
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I answer all unsolicited calls with a very clear and distinctive: "You have reached the Town's City Morgue, May I haelp you?". I get an I'm sorry then another call usually comes and again I answer,' Thius is the Town's City Morgue, May I help you?", I get the "I'm, sorry, I will take you off the list again", then I respond with, "You have called an official Town line and your number has been noted, do not call this number again".. So far it has worked.
So far, after filing an official F.T.C. complaint against Mike Huckabee, I have not received a call in 6 weeks.
In my student days a flatmate and I played a game called telemarketeer tennis. We would try and transfer them between our rooms as many times as possible to discuss whatever they had to offer before they got the point and hung up. Some where entertainingly persistent...
Now building: 1:144 AXM Space Shuttle, ET, SRB, and Educraft MLP
Here's a great way to handle an unsolicited call...
YouTube - Greatest Prank Call Ever! Murder Scene
X-ray-Delta-One, this is Mission Control, two-one-five-six, transmission concluded.