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  #11  
Old 07-01-2014, 11:28 AM
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Yale Yale is offline
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I grew up in Cedar Rapids -- which is what the first settlers said.
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With all this manual labor, I may not make it out of retirement alive.
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  #12  
Old 07-01-2014, 01:42 PM
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Did you hear about the midget fortune teller that escaped from prison? There's a small medium at large.

-George
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  #13  
Old 07-01-2014, 05:30 PM
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Don Boose Don Boose is offline
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As the baker said, "a bun is the lowest form of wheat."
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  #14  
Old 07-01-2014, 07:08 PM
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A pun within a limerick:

There was a fellow name Hall,
Who fell in the Spring and the Fall.
T'would have been a sad thing
Had he died in the Spring,
but he didn't, he died in the fall.
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  #15  
Old 07-01-2014, 07:49 PM
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There was a food fight at the Chinese restaurant.

The police arrived to a scene of wonton violence.



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Have you heard about corduroy pillowcases? They're making headlines!


Q: Why was the plaintiff naked in court?
A: Because he lost his suit!
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  #16  
Old 07-02-2014, 12:43 AM
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Cybergrinder Cybergrinder is offline
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There was once this tree from Romaina, let's call him Dimitri. Well, you see, he wasn't very poplar. If fact everyone would leaf him alone. Needless to say he was quite twigged off and branched into a different forest.
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  #17  
Old 07-02-2014, 07:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cybergrinder View Post
There was once this tree from Romaina, let's call him Dimitri. Well, you see, he wasn't very poplar. If fact everyone would leaf him alone. Needless to say he was quite twigged off and branched into a different forest.
I heard a slightly longer version from somewhere else, something about him pine-ing for his lost love- Perhaps you just gave us the trunk-ated version? Obviously he had some deep-rooted problems. Wooden you know, later in life he became very bitter, bark-ing his resentment at everyone else.
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  #18  
Old 07-02-2014, 08:30 PM
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"Cry Me a River" was a popular song of the 1940s and 1950s. So it was amusing to see it written as "Crime a River" on a CD manufactured in Asia. But the inside playlist entry was even better -- "Crimea River."
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With all this manual labor, I may not make it out of retirement alive.
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  #19  
Old 07-02-2014, 09:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sgoti View Post
I heard a slightly longer version from somewhere else, something about him pine-ing for his lost love- Perhaps you just gave us the trunk-ated version? Obviously he had some deep-rooted problems. Wooden you know, later in life he became very bitter, bark-ing his resentment at everyone else.
I heard he moved next to a sawmill. Now he's board, but trying to keep lumber with daily exercises.
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  #20  
Old 07-02-2014, 09:32 PM
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I heard he moved next to a sawmill. Now he's board, but trying to keep lumber with daily exercises.
Man, what a stud!
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