Aviation Trivia

[Rangerdog]

Pilot Gripe: "Evidence of hydraulic leak behind number 3 engine."
Corrective Action: "Evidence removed"

[sprogs]

Is a man working underneath a Russian Airliner "Labouring under an Ilyushin" ?

[Kevin WS]

Classic Sprog, the more so since ilyushins always seem to have oil leaks and rattly and loose bits!!!!

[JohnGay]

A P-3C Orion was cruising along performing RADAR sweeps when some cocky F-14 decided to have some fun with him.
The F-14 came along side the P-3C and said, "Hey, watch this"
He proceeded to perform a barrel roll around the P-3C.
Then he said, "Check this out" and performed several other stunts around the P-3C as if he was standing still.
The P-3C replied, "That's nothing! Watch this!" and his radio went silent.
20 minutes later he came back and said, "Top that!"
The F-14 said, "What did you do?"
The P-3C replied, "I got out of my seat, walked aft, put on a fresh pot of coffee, took a leak in the head, then I waited for the coffee to finish and refilled my cup. Then I had a bit of a stretch, touched my toes and cleaned up the coffee I spilled."
The P-3C didn't even see which direction the F-14 took off in.

[Mirco]

Cessna pilot chatting with a nice girl.
Girl: "So, what plane do you fly?"
Pilot: "Well, do you see the big four-engine freighter over there? That's a C-130. I fly a C-150."

[CMDRTED]

flight attendant to passengers, "in the event of a water landing your seat acts as a buoyancy device..." Passenger translation, if we crash into the ocean these act as fishing bobbers for the sharks...

[sprogs]

Back in the 60's I was in the ATC for a while. I was lucky enough to do a course in the flight simulator. I admit I was nervous, very, but I submitted my flight plan, got in and they sealed the hatches.
I must admit that I felt as if an angel was flying with me that day, take-off, flight, landing, all seemed perfectly simple and easy.
I emerged expecting congratulations on my passing the test, but one look at the assembled officers told me something was VERY wrong.
"That", said the Warrant Officer, "Was a near perfect flight, Cadet Sparrow"

"I say nearly perfect because you flew perfectly well until you flew UNDER Salisbury Plain, rather than the usual over"
"May I suggest that you check and set your Altimeter before you retake the test?"
Liz

[bloomohio]

you guys are great as you made my day!

[WVA]

Somewhere I have a long list of such "quips', but can't find it. I do remember two, especially...."the only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire!", and, "as a pilot walked away from a flaming crash, an excited witness shouted "What Happened". The pilot responded "I don't know, I just got here myself!"

Fun reading! Look forward to more!

[murphyaa]

Originally Posted by sprogs

Back in the 60's I was in the ATC for a while. I was lucky enough to do a course in the flight simulator. I admit I was nervous, very, but I submitted my flight plan, got in and they sealed the hatches.
I must admit that I felt as if an angel was flying with me that day, take-off, flight, landing, all seemed perfectly simple and easy.
I emerged expecting congratulations on my passing the test, but one look at the assembled officers told me something was VERY wrong.
"That", said the Warrant Officer, "Was a near perfect flight, Cadet Sparrow"

"I say nearly perfect because you flew perfectly well until you flew UNDER Salisbury Plain, rather than the usual over"
"May I suggest that you check and set your Altimeter before you retake the test?"
Liz

Reminds me of when I was a yute, and my scout troop went over to Luke AFB for a tour. Part of the tour was a 15 minute flight in one of their F-16 simulators. Suffice it to say, I was the first person to travel Mach 2 at Angels -15, or as the guy in charge coined it "Devils 15"