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  #71  
Old 08-16-2018, 10:59 AM
Revell-Fan Revell-Fan is offline
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When his parents were discussing how they should call their newborn son he immediately grabbed a gun and charged it. And that exact sound -"CHUCK!"- it was!
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  #72  
Old 08-16-2018, 04:10 PM
pjabraham pjabraham is offline
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The correct answer to WWCND is always "Kill it".
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  #73  
Old 08-17-2018, 02:24 AM
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gotham gotham is offline
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When Chuck Norris was born, he slapped the Universe.
A Black Hole is Chuck Norris tearing the Universe a new one.
Chuck Norris aint afraid of no ghosts !
Chuck Norris doesn't need a bigger boat
Chuck Norris can give The Hulk a wedgie
Chuck Norris doesn't appear on TV as the screen's too small
Reality is Chuck Norris' Matrix
The sun may rise in the East, but it sets when Chuck Norris lets it.
Chuck Norris can combat global warming with his coolness

(Sorry everyone...not enough sleep. I'll stop now)
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  #74  
Old 08-17-2018, 03:23 AM
Revell-Fan Revell-Fan is offline
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Chuck Norris' favourite drink is rocket fuel. Thus he is able to throw Space Shuttles into orbit.
Chuck Norris opens spinach cans with his toe nails (take that, Popeye!).
Chuck Norris shrortens his clippers with his finger nails.
Chuck Norris divides the whole Earth with one stroke of his hand - and pulls the two haves back together with his legs.
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  #75  
Old 08-17-2018, 09:27 AM
pjabraham pjabraham is offline
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Chuck Norris cleans his ears with a power drill.
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  #76  
Old 08-17-2018, 10:13 AM
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Mechanic Mechanic is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pjabraham View Post
Chuck Norris cleans his ears with a power drill.
That would explain a lot.
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I don't understand, I've cut it THREE times now - and it's still too short!
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  #77  
Old 08-17-2018, 11:57 AM
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Texman Texman is offline
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When Chuck Norris went to college, he told his dad
"you're the man of the house now"
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Ray

Respect the Paper, RESPECT IT!
GET OFF MY LAWN!

Last edited by Texman; 08-17-2018 at 12:22 PM. Reason: grammatical error
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  #78  
Old 08-17-2018, 07:08 PM
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murphyaa murphyaa is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gotham View Post
Chuck Norris aint afraid of no ghosts !
Chuck Norris doesn't need a bigger boat.
Ghosts ARE afraid of Chuck Norris though.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a boat period.
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  #79  
Old 08-18-2018, 03:44 AM
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gotham gotham is offline
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How much wood can a woodchuck chuck...if it were Chuck Norris
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"It's all in the reflexes."
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  #80  
Old 08-18-2018, 06:23 AM
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Rata Rata is offline
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Chuck Norris's pastor christened him Charles. That was the last thing he ever did.
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''Oh, stop whining! Can't you just print off another one?''- my wife ca 2018
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