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#71
08-16-2018, 10:59 AM
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When his parents were discussing how they should call their newborn son he immediately grabbed a gun and charged it. And that exact sound -"CHUCK!"- it was!
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#73
08-17-2018, 02:24 AM
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When Chuck Norris was born, he slapped the Universe.
A Black Hole is Chuck Norris tearing the Universe a new one. Chuck Norris aint afraid of no ghosts ! Chuck Norris doesn't need a bigger boat Chuck Norris can give The Hulk a wedgie Chuck Norris doesn't appear on TV as the screen's too small Reality is Chuck Norris' Matrix The sun may rise in the East, but it sets when Chuck Norris lets it. Chuck Norris can combat global warming with his coolness (Sorry everyone...not enough sleep. I'll stop now)
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"It's all in the reflexes."
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#74
08-17-2018, 03:23 AM
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Chuck Norris' favourite drink is rocket fuel. Thus he is able to throw Space Shuttles into orbit.
Chuck Norris opens spinach cans with his toe nails (take that, Popeye!). Chuck Norris shrortens his clippers with his finger nails. Chuck Norris divides the whole Earth with one stroke of his hand - and pulls the two haves back together with his legs.
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#76
08-17-2018, 10:13 AM
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Quote:
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There is a single light of science, and to brighten it anywhere is to brighten it everywhere. Isaac Asimov
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#77
08-17-2018, 11:57 AM
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When Chuck Norris went to college, he told his dad
"you're the man of the house now"
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Ray Respect the Paper, RESPECT IT! GET OFF MY LAWN! Last edited by Texman; 08-17-2018 at 12:22 PM. Reason: grammatical error
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#78
08-17-2018, 07:08 PM
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Quote:
Chuck Norris doesn't need a boat period.
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#80
08-18-2018, 06:23 AM
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Chuck Norris's pastor christened him Charles. That was the last thing he ever did.
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''Oh, stop whining! Can't you just print off another one?''- my wife ca 2018
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