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Old 07-09-2018, 12:12 PM
sprogs sprogs is offline
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Ooops !

A young man was backpacking around the British isles. One late afternoon a storm came in quickly and ferociously. He knew his lightweight equipment wouldn't withstand such fury so he looked about for shelter.
In the near distance he saw the lights of an isolated farmhouse, and headed for it through the wind and rain.
He knocked on the door which was opened by a lady he assumed to be the farmers wide, he explained his situation and asked if he could shelter in the barn. "No, No", she said, you must stay with us the night, I insist!"
Dripping wet he went in, "Oh, by the way " said the farmers wife. "Be a little bit careful when you speak to our son Alan, he has no ears and although he can hear perfectly he's a little bit touchy about it"
She took him through to the kitchen and after taking his wet clothes sat him down with the family at the table.
Sure enough, he was sat opposite Alan !
Try as he might he couldn't stop looking at his absence of ears until Alan angrily said "What are you looking at ?"
"OH, err, it was you nose, it's perfect, you must be proud of it!
"Proud ! This nose can smell a rat at 5000 yards, a bee at 200 and a fly at 50. It's a perfect nose"
Glad to have got off so lightly he continued eating, but his gaze kept going back to Alan.
"Are you looking at me ?"He demanded again.
"Oh, it's your teeth, they seem so white and strong"
"Strong ? I tell you these teeth can bite through oak an inch thick, steel up to an eighth, and through a mans thighbone. They're strong teeth all right"
Once again though, his gaze was drawn to Alan's missing ears,.
"You're looking at me again" he said with great anger.
"It's err, your eyes, yes your eyes" he stammered.
"Eyes, eyes! These are the best eyes in the world. I can see lost sheep through five feet of snow, I can read newspapers at twenty paces, I can tell you the sex of a fly. Eyes ! These are the best eyes in the world"
"Thank god for that because you'll never be able to wear glasses!....Oh s$^£......"
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  #2  
Old 07-09-2018, 12:52 PM
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MichaelS MichaelS is offline
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Thanks for the laff today young fella!
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Old 07-09-2018, 12:56 PM
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rickstef rickstef is offline
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in Sprogs case, it would be young lass
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Old 07-09-2018, 01:24 PM
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gotham gotham is offline
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Just in from work, just the kind of post I needed to read.😸😸😸
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Old 07-10-2018, 07:03 AM
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Rata Rata is offline
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You've still got it Sprogsey!
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