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  #111  
Old 11-12-2019, 10:47 AM
sprogs sprogs is offline
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I walked into a pub last night and the barman said to me, "Are you here for the Neil Diamond karaoke contest?"
"I am" I said.
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  #112  
Old 11-12-2019, 10:50 AM
sprogs sprogs is offline
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A spokesman says that police are investigating a shooting incident, involving a starters' pistol, they suspect itís race related...
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  #113  
Old 11-12-2019, 11:49 AM
JohnGay JohnGay is offline
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How does The Rock go to the bathroom?
He 'Dwaynes' his 'Johnson'
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  #114  
Old 11-12-2019, 11:50 AM
JohnGay JohnGay is offline
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I heard that Pluto was recently re-classified as a Dwarf Planet?
When I was in school it was just a regular Planet.
I guess they only recently discovered the dwarves?
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  #115  
Old 11-12-2019, 11:51 AM
JohnGay JohnGay is offline
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What is the difference between a seal and a sealion?
At least one electron.
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  #116  
Old 11-12-2019, 11:52 AM
JohnGay JohnGay is offline
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How do you know a joke has become a Dad Joke?
When it is full groan and becomes apparent.
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  #117  
Old 11-12-2019, 11:54 AM
JohnGay JohnGay is offline
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Of course you have to actually be a father before you can tell Dad Jokes.
They even have a term for when someone who is not a father tells a Dad Joke.
It's called a 'Faux Pas'
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  #118  
Old 11-15-2019, 06:41 AM
JohnGay JohnGay is offline
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I attended an amazing talk on the history and development of stereophonic sound reproduction.

There were two speakers.
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  #119  
Old 11-15-2019, 07:28 AM
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SCEtoAUX SCEtoAUX is offline
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Lumberjacks know exactly how many trees they have felled in their life.
Everytime they cut a tree down they keep a log.
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AC020303 EAMUS CATULI! Audere est Facere 19**-20** R.I.P. it up, Tear it up, Have a Ball
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  #120  
Old 11-15-2019, 09:39 AM
JohnGay JohnGay is offline
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I tried to make my racing snail faster by removing his shell to make him more streamlined.
But it only made him more sluggish.
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