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Old 05-18-2023, 03:27 AM
sprogs sprogs is offline
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How many opticians does it take to change a light bulb?
1...or 2?
1...or 2?
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  #282  
Old 05-18-2023, 11:44 AM
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The doctor told me I have dementia and high blood pressure. At least I don't have dementia.
  #283  
Old 05-18-2023, 09:01 PM
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My ex is so cutting with me that I use her messages to cut pieces of paper

it's quite useful
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  #284  
Old 05-20-2023, 03:54 AM
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mbauer mbauer is offline
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What do you call a bunch of rabbits walking backwards, shoulder to shoulder?

A receding Hare Line

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  #285  
Old 05-20-2023, 08:40 AM
hornswoggler hornswoggler is offline
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A buddhist monk, a catholic priest, and a rabbit enter a bar. The rabbit says "I think I am a typo."
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  #286  
Old 06-24-2023, 11:27 AM
sprogs sprogs is offline
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I cannot for the life of me remember where I first heard this.
If it was here, or if I've already posted it please forgive me.

Mick and Paddy met when they started work on the building site of a large block of flats.
Finding they were both from the same part of the world they became good friends straight away.
That lunchtime they were sat on the edge of the14th floor with their lunchboxes. Paddy opened his first. "Great," he said, "beef and horseradish ! what have you got?"
Mick opened his, "Oh no! cheese and onion ! I HATE cheese and onion. Still, needs must" and they ate up.
Next day they met again at the same place. Paddy opened first again. "Great, Ham and mustard. What have you got?"
Mick opened his. "WHAT, cheese and onion AGAIN. I can't believe it. I hate cheese and onion. I hate it so much if I get it again I'll throw myself off !"
Well, the next day, as usual Paddy opened first. "Wow ! Pastrami and salad, my favourite, what have you got ?"
Mick opened his and screamed, "CHEESE AND ONION AGAIN ! That's IT", and threw himself off.
Splat !
Well as you can imagine the police had to investigate and went to interview his wife.
Can you think of any reason he would do this ? Was he depressed or anything "
"No," she said, "He was fine this morning when he was making his sandwiches."
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  #287  
Old 06-24-2023, 02:08 PM
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The feebleness of that one justifies the title of this thread. Made me smile though.
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  #288  
Old 06-24-2023, 09:09 PM
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I illegally downloaded a movie while vacationing in the Bahamas. I'm a pirate of the Caribbean.
  #289  
Old 10-18-2023, 04:53 PM
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buy a NFT it's like when your wife cheats on you with all town but you don't bother you because you have marriage certificate
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