Bad Jokes, Folks

[sprogs]

see attachment

[southwestforests]

We always knew something wasn't quite right about those plastic models ...

Monday, March 16, 2020
COVID-19 traced to moldy plastic model
Yesterday the World Health Organization (WHO) revised its conclusions to the origins of COVID-19. The source wasn’t a wet market in Wuhan, China as previously reported. Rather, it was this moldy plastic model sold at a model contest in New Jersey last year.


“This totally took us by surprise,” said Jacob Schumacher, senior epidemiologist at the WHO. “We were alerted to the possibility of an alternate origin of the virus when a scale modeler told us that he and nearly all of the members of his model club came down with ...”

Scale Model Soup: COVID-19 traced to moldy plastic model

[sprogs]

Last night I was walking through town with my boyfriend and we walked past a really high class restaurant that had just opened.
"Gosh!" I said. "That smells absolutely delicious !"
"I care for you so much," he said, "That I'm going to give you a treat "
So he walked me past it again.

[sprogs]

I fear that this will mean little to those who are not British and of a certain age.

It was Saturday night and in the northern town centre it was raining cats and dogs. In the rain filled gutter a lonely chicken bone, discarded by a KFC casualty was about to be washed down a drain.
Suddenly !
In the air above it, accompanied by tinkling bells and glittery stars, appeared a strange winged sight.
"I am your fairy Godbone" it said, and I have come to grant you three wishes."
"Gosh", said the bone, well, my first wish is that I can have legs so that I can walk".
Tr-i-i-ing !!!
And he had legs !
"What is your next wish ?" Asked the fairy Godbone.
"Well, I'd like to be famous for creating a proverb that people will always remember">
Tr-i-i-i-ing !!!
"And what is your third wish?" Asked the somewhat bemused fairy Godbone.
"Well, I know it's a bit unusual," said the chicken bone, "But I've always wanted to shave a famous bandleader">
.....
"O.K." said the fairy Godbone, by now thoroughly bewildered, "it's your wish, and it shall be so"
And with that she disappeared as the bone went down the drain.
Sure enough, the very next day the headlines in the Daily Star read......
"A STROLLING BONE LATHERS JOE LOSS !"

[Philip]

You know, if we had any ham we could have some ham and eggs... if we had any eggs.

[sprogs]

DAMMIT !!!
It should read LATHERS Joe Loss
How do I edit this.?

[Texman]

No worries. I gotcha.

[sprogs]

I had a pair of rather battered stuffed dogs in the attic, I took them to the Antiques Roadshow in case they were valuable. The expert asked me, what did I think they would fetch in better condition?
"Sticks", I said.

[sprogs]

Just saw a picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved.
It had a natural beauty that was unpresidented.

[kahoody]

Awww! They're gettin' worse! More, please!