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#181
12-29-2020, 12:01 PM
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With a nod to Henny Youngman---
-A guy walks into a psychiatrists office and states, "Doctor, nobody pays any attention to me." -Psychiatrist shouts, "Next!" |
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#182
12-29-2020, 12:50 PM
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I misheard them and thought they said when confronted by a bear the best thing to do is play dad.
Came face to face with one in the woods the other day and now it can ride a bike without stabilizers.
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Sprogs |
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#183
02-11-2021, 03:49 PM
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It's been snowing a bit here recently, and I noticed this morning that the residents of one of the houses in my steet had been industrious enough to build not one, but two, snowmen in the front garden. And as I passed by I heard one snowman ask the other: "Can you smell carrots?"
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Give me a pigfoot and a bottle of beer. On Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/153077...57692694097642 |
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#184
02-11-2021, 08:45 PM
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A nod to Abbot and Costello
Two drunks at a bar:
1st drunk: What is your favorite football player? 2nd drunk: Watt is my favorite football player. 1st drunk: Well, what is it? 2nd drunk: Watt is it. 1st drunk: Are you going to keep repeating my questions all night? 2nd drunk: I'm not repeating your questions, you keep repeating my answers! |
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#186
03-04-2021, 06:59 AM
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As I was on my way out to work, I noticed the note my wife left for the handyman she had scheduled to the house today.
1) Repair loose electric receptacle in powder room. 2) Eat cookies. 3) Clean out drier vent 4) Play video games on phone 5) Fix squeaky steps on basement stair So I sent her a text, “What’s with this list you left for him?” “We’ll, his ad said he did Odd-Jobs”
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Happy Crafting - Scot On the Bench: Planck and Hershcel |
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#189
03-19-2021, 01:22 PM
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A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood donor clinic.
The nurse asks "What blood type are you?" The rabbit answers "I think I'm a type 0".
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~Doug~ AC010505 EAMUS CATULI! Audere est Facere THFC 19**-20** R.I.P. it up, Tear it up, Have a Ball |
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#190
04-05-2021, 10:19 AM
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A wife asks her husband, "for my birthday this year, I want something that goes from 0-170 in 3 seconds"
He got her a weighing scale. Sources say his cause of death was a heart attack, though this is disputed.
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Cheers, Aleem "The best landings are the ones you cannot walk away from" - David Windestål |
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