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Old 07-15-2009, 06:25 PM
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You know you're from California if . . . .

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, somebody had to come up with this, you know you're from California if:

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . .is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.
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Old 07-15-2009, 06:33 PM
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I think these are the only ones that I see as a Californian

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

^- I see this a whole lot at my school, and it'll just keep getting more massed.
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Old 07-15-2009, 07:28 PM
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I a have no room to talk!

As a southern gentleman, (Redneck), I am not allowed a passport to your country, therefore I am unable to recon and report. I will take your information on your fellow inmates as the gospel truth.

Have a great night,

Carl
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Old 07-15-2009, 07:54 PM
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I was born in Berkeley, a 3rd generation Californian so I think that I can say that I am from California.

You know that you are from California if the beautiful place that you grew up in is overfull of people from somewhere else wishing that they can be Californians.



Carl
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Old 07-15-2009, 08:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Golden Bear View Post
I was born in Berkeley, a 3rd generation Californian so I think that I can say that I am from California.

You know that you are from California if the beautiful place that you grew up in is overfull of people from somewhere else wishing that they can be Californians.



Carl
I too feel like a stranger in a strange land in Florida. We had a culture before all these Yankees showed up and blessed us with theirs!

I suggest the following new motto for the Sunshine State:

"Welcome to Florida Spend Your Money and Get the hell out!"

Perhaps You guys should adopt this too, (Substituting CA for FL).

Carl, (Surfduke)
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Old 07-15-2009, 08:29 PM
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We have a great problem in Connecticut. It happens when people from the next town over move into our town. Sometimes the accents are incomprehensible. They don't understand what "A tad more" or "I'm quite toasty" means. Race isn't much of an issue or speaking English. I think people from Connecticut are the only people left speaking English the way it was supposed to be spoke, left.(satire)

The biggest problem is they don't understand when we say "You can't get there from here", you really can't. We don't have buses in my town and there is about 100 feet of the thing called a "sidewalk". It is in front of the wealthy guys house and I think he owns it, or at least he thinks he owns it.
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Old 07-16-2009, 12:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mhvink View Post
11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
Dakota Fannings Dad works for you.


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Old 07-16-2009, 09:18 AM
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It's Halloween. You leave work early (around 2:45 PM) to get home to take the kids trick-or-treating, and drive those 28 miles in only seven and a half hours, arriving home at 10:15 PM. Needless to say, the kids have been in bed for an hour and a half by then, the wife's totally PO'd at you (as if the Southern CA traffic is your fault), and you're out of beer. So you get back in the car and drive to the liquor store a mile away. Through some time-warp technology I still don't understand, this trip only takes 5 minutes.
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Old 07-16-2009, 10:50 AM
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Before I moved to China I lived in San Francisco for many years. My last apartment was in a Russian-Cantonese neighborhood. My landlady was a Chinese-American lesbian with a black girlfriend. Within a ten minute walk of home I could eat Thai, Mexican, Indian, Japanese, Russian, several kinds of Chinese, and American diner. 15 minute walk away was a beach with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge.

There are many things I REALLY miss about San Francisco!
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Old 07-16-2009, 11:32 AM
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Within a ten minute walk of home I could eat Thai, Mexican, Indian, Japanese, Russian, several kinds of Chinese, and American diner. 15 minute walk away was a beach with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge.
Within a ten minute walk from my house is a country store with a deli. 15 minutes away from my house is woods, woods, woods, and uh...lessee...oh, yeah! More woods!

There's still a LOT of sparsely settled country in California!
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