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  #1  
Old 02-03-2019, 03:19 AM
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GaryPilsworth GaryPilsworth is offline
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When y'er over sixty five

Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
Cowboy: "Nah...She's not beautiful but not that damn ugly either '....."
When you are over sixty five,who gives a shit
***********
Some asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said,
"Is that Corona or Bud?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."
When you are over sixty five, who gives a shit?
***********
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
When you are over sixty five, who gives a shit?
***********
I was telling a girl in the bar about my ability to guess what day a woman was born
just by feeling her boobs.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said,
"Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
When you are over sixty five, who gives a shit?
***********
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you are over sixty five, who gives a shit?
***********
I went to the bar last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.
I said, "Great legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
When you are over sixty five, who gives a shit?
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Old 02-03-2019, 11:30 AM
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whulsey whulsey is offline
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Maybe not real pc, but being over 65 myself, did find them amusing.
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Old 02-03-2019, 01:36 PM
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Amusing?
Gary, they are bloody hilarious.
I'm not quite 65 yet but hey, I laughed anyway.
Political incorrectness is rampant in my neck of the woods.
Thanks mate and keep em coming.
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Old 02-03-2019, 03:54 PM
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Sakrison Sakrison is offline
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I don't much mind being over 65. I just thought it would take longer.

On the other hand, it's never too late to have a happy childhood. (If you met my family, you'd understand.)
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Old 02-03-2019, 06:17 PM
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JohnM JohnM is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sakrison View Post
On the other hand, it's never too late to have a happy childhood. (If you met my family, you'd understand.)
Sakrison ... Always remember ... Growing old may be inevitable, but growing up always remains optional.

Welcome to the OAP club, Gary. I've been in it for ten years now. I'm the oldest teenager around here. That 18yr old Teddyboy is still strong inside me. It's amazin' what you can get away with if you try. I love the fourth one. Now I wonder if I can get away with that?
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Old 02-03-2019, 09:42 PM
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papermate papermate is offline
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Would love to try the fourth one but should not expect too light a sentence from the court.
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Old 02-03-2019, 09:43 PM
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They have mature cells, lol.
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Old 02-03-2019, 10:20 PM
Burning Beard Burning Beard is offline
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Thanks for the jokes Gary, I used them with great effect at the Super Bowl party.

Mike
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Old 02-04-2019, 12:16 AM
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I shall attempt number 4 at the earliest opportunity and report back.


Remember, it is always easier to seek forgiveness than to ask permission.
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Old 02-04-2019, 04:06 AM
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Thanks Gary, made me smile, a lot.😸😸😸
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