[romanmodels]

in a small American town, a band of squirrels had become quite a problem.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about
their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they
concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they
shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the
baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the
baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked
the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as
many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any
of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set
them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later the squirrels were
back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of
whisky around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with
alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk
squirrels can do.

But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy! They
baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now
they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

And not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first
squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.