Red tape? We got your red tape right here

[rickstef]

In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said: Once again, the earth has become wicked and overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.

"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed.

I needed a building permit.

I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.

My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they wouldn't hear of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.

The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The government and the lawyers beat me to it."

[rlwhitt]

I'd say how funny this is, but the problem is that it actaully too close to the truth!

Good one Rick!

[rickstef]

Rick,

and I work for a Government too

[bclemens]

I thought this was "The Comedy Stand"! This is just too close to the truth :(
What about Homeland Security?...Where'd you get those Ark plans, boy?...

[Mechanic]

It's a shame God would let it all get this way, if anyone should be able to fix all these things, isn't it Him?





.

[RyanShort]

Originally Posted by Mechanic

It's a shame God would let it all get this way, if anyone should be able to fix all these things, isn't it Him?.

Yes, and No. He Will fix it (see Revelation) but not until all of His purposes have been accomplished. Until then, if we do not obey the guidelines He has set forth, then we all suffer consequences.

Ryan

[looker]

- thump - thump - thump - it - titty - thump -

someones on the opiates

(your local resident Marxist)

[Gil]

The following was brought to my attention by one of my analyst friends.

+Gil

"The wavelike movement affecting the economic system, the recurrence of periods of boom which are followed by periods of depression [recession], is the unavoidable outcome of the attempts, repeated again and again, to lower the gross market rate of interest by means of credit expansion. There is no means of avoiding the final collapse of a boom expansion brought about by credit expansion. The alternative is only whether the crisis should come sooner as the result of a voluntary abandonment of further credit expansion, or later as a final and total catastrophe of the currency system involved."

- Ludwig von Mises

[looker]

Being friends with your analysts must be a great comfort to you. :D Very good at emphasising the variable and manipulated meanings of words and classifications was Ludwig. Do you have the slightest notion of the difference between what Marx was suggesting and the aberration that we came to know as Communism?
Mat

[Phil]

God said he would not ever do this again (flood the earth) so it must have been a spambot...