You Might Be a "Blue" Neck if.......

[rickstef]

By now I'm sure that you have heard all the Redneck jokes.
Now here are some takes on how Southern folk look at their Northern cousins.

YOU JUST MIGHT BE A "BLUE NECK" IF

1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning," to cook outside."
2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY!
3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
4. For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin to grits.
5. You don't know what a moon pie is.
6. You've never had an RC cola.
7. You've never, ever, eaten okra, fried or boiled.
8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
9. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
10. You have no idea what a polecat is.
11. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
12. You don't have bangs.
13. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
14. More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.
15. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
16. Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
17. You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.
18. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.
19. You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
20. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
21. The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway.
22. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
23. The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.
24. You call binoculars opera glasses.
25. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.
26. You would never wear pink or an appliqué sweatshirt.
27. You don't know what appliqué is.
28. You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice, et al).
29. You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.
30. You've never been to a craft show.
31. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
32. You can do your laundry without quarters.
33. None of your fur coats are homemade.

[Don Boose]

I must be sort of purple -- I draw the line at potatoes au gratin for breakfast.

And the family legend is that when Lil left west Texas, she shook her fist at the sky and shouted, "As God is my witness, I'll never eat okra again!"

[dansls1]

Originally Posted by boosed

I must be sort of purple -- I draw the line at potatoes au gratin for breakfast.

And the family legend is that when Lil left west Texas, she shook her fist at the sky and shouted, "As God is my witness, I'll never eat okra again!"

Yes, but that means she has indeed eaten it.

I would add that a hat advertising a concrete pouring company counts the same as a feed store (while a John Deere hat doesn't, that's too commercial now).

[Don Boose]

Yes. She ate it and associated it with the poverty of her childhood. And she had been influenced by the dramatic scene in "Gone with the Wind."

N.B. It was a joke and not meant to cast aspersions on okra and/or those who relish it.

[whulsey]

Don't like okra; that's as bad, no worse, then not liking spam! Or as my dad complains when I go back to Okla. to visit and he's trying to fix a steak or some such, all you want is fried okra, red beans and polk salad. Childhood comfort food...and don't forget the cornbread. I'm heading back there this week, he better have some in the deep-freeze. Does the hat for the heavy duty towing service and garage my brother used to work at count? Its got real diesel stains on it.