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#1
08-29-2007, 09:11 PM
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Survival Of The Fittest
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one. 
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#2
08-29-2007, 09:56 PM
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Has anyone ever told you, you have too much time on your hands?:D
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It's not good to have too much order. Without some chaos, there is no room for new things to grow.
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#4
08-29-2007, 10:44 PM
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One of the more practical uses of the Darwinian Theory that I have read, you should expand your research to include Jelly Bellies.
Jim Nunn
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There is a very fine line between paper modeling and mental illness.
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#5
08-29-2007, 11:24 PM
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Quote:
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#6
08-30-2007, 06:52 AM
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What really worries me is that I am sitting here eyeing a bag of plain M&Ms...
:D
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~Doug~ AC010505 EAMUS CATULI! Audere est Facere THFC 19**-20** R.I.P. it up, Tear it up, Have a Ball
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#7
08-30-2007, 12:22 PM
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:D Even worse - I have NO M&M's here, all the shops are closed now - unlucky me...
But I think , the M&M work is not for beginners - our mission must be to find the real thing for them!
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#9
08-30-2007, 04:11 PM
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You need help documenting your research? I could hold the M@Ms... Heh
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"TANSTAAFL" - "There ain't no such thing as a free lunch!" Lazarus Long AKA Robert A. Heinlein
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Linear Mode
